you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
