No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We just shotgunned beers for America
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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