I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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