It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
