Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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