Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
