I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
