When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
