She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
