you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
