I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
