I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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