Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
