Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
