Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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