I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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