i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
