He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
