Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
