does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
