Non-Jews are for practice
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I touched a dick in church today
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
