i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
