THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
