well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she peed on how many people?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
