I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
even my farts smell like vagina
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
