pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
