I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
