I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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