Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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