SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
