doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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