in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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