She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
