just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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