these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he thought i was a dude.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
