I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
