Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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