NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
