there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
did i just pee glitter
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
