If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
try to milk me bitch
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