Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
