Please, let me fuck your mom
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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