just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
