think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
