i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
