is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize