im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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