come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
