I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
