Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
