i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Your penis caused this!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
