She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize