READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
