So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I could make wine with my vomit
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
