she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
